How can you express your feeling

Expressing Emotions: 11 Steps in the Right Direction

Last update: 03 May, 2017

Many people have difficulty expressing their emotions in the right way, either showing them too much or showing them too little. To be able to express your emotions correctly and appropriately, helps you in your private, social and work life in a way that you could never have imagined.

Many theories or techniques show how to suppress or control emotions, but these have not proven to be very effective because emotions and feelings are spontaneous things that arise automatically within us.

Avoiding and suppressing your emotions can have negative physical consequenceswhat is considered scientifically proven. Current therapies such as acceptance and commitment therapy or techniques such as mindfulness, on the other hand, can help us to accept our emotions and deal with them as if we were sometimes our own observers.

For example, if you are emotionally very nervous and anxious and you try to avoid it but don't know how to channel and express that nervousness, this can lead to an increased heart rate, sweating, or difficulty breathing. Repressing feelings can create tensionin the neck, facial area, various other muscles and also in the spine area. Locking up your feelings without expressing them can lead to psychosomatic illnesses, Headache or stomach problems to lead. It is a fact that our emotions affect our health.

11 steps to be able to express our emotions

With some training and compliance a few simple steps can help you identify your emotions and express them accordingly. In the following we will show you which steps are involved so that you can practice them:

  • Identify feelings and sensations: If something changes in our organism in response to something in our environment or in response to our own thoughts, then you should ask yourself: What am i feeling What physical symptoms am I seeing? What is the reason?Why is this happening right now?
  • Learn to recognize your feelings: Once we have recognized our feelings and sensations, then we need to analyze what causes them and what signs we can see for them. Try to make a list of all the emotions and the physical effects they cause in you.
  • Pay attention to your body's reaction: Emotions independently affect the limbic system, as well as other parts of the body's nervous system, and are very difficult to influence in any way at first. Take a moment and wait for the feeling to calm down a little so that you can think clearly about it and what you are going to say next.
  • Pay more attention to your answer than to the situation itself: You believe that the cause of your nervousness is the situation you are in, but the real problem lies in your emotional response. Observe yourself and you will notice that you react just as eagerly to a situation when you cannot find a piece of paper as when you receive an unauthorized report of misconduct in traffic. The only thing you can change here is your reaction.
  • Express your emotions in an adequate and appropriate way: Once you understand the foregoing, you will also be able to express your emotions in a more controlled manner, although you can still learn a few more steps to understand what is happening to you and how to express them.
  • Try to experience your body consciously: When you are feeling certain emotions, point to the part of your body where they are manifesting. Associate them with a particular color and pattern, locate them in a particular place, and try to develop a different relationship with them. You are the one who has all these parts and emotions in hand, it is not them that rule over you.
  • Try to be honest with what you feel and what you do: If in reality you are completely indifferent to a person, why do you keep trying to please them? Or if something irritates you, bothers you or you are angry, why are you avoiding a clarifying conversation?
  • Choose the best situation to express yourself: There's no point trying to have a constructive conversation with your boss if you pick the wrong moment. Analyze the situation, the people around you and yourself and choose the most appropriate moment.
  • Pay attention to the form of communication: Friendly tone of voice, careful listening, looking in the eyes, and using sentences like "I'm a little stressed" instead of "The situation in the company stressed me out". You avoid such a direct confrontation and still explain what happened, and the other person will implicitly understand that your stress has a clear cause: work.
  • Use your body to help express what you are feeling: For example, in the case of declaring that you are stressed, place your hand on your heart, your head, or your stomach. In this way you make it clear that you are going through unpleasant things and that it would be good for you and the whole environment if this did not continue.
  • It is fundamentally important to visualize and localize your emotions: You are the person responsible for dealing with your feelings: Always knowing that you shouldn't hide them but express them in order to breathe and be understood.

How do you calm your emotions and feelings when you are alone?

Sometimes our emotional discomfort has nothing to do with a specific situation. We can be sad because of memories, because we are in poor health, or because of other sad thoughts floating through our heads. You can apply what we have already said before: accept it as something that belongs to you, allow the discomfort, accept that you are a living person who inevitably also carries such emotions.

The emotions are part of our evolution as a human species and also something that sets us apart from other species that inhabit this planet. The emotions are something natural, so don't fight them all the time. Let them be with you, but at the same time do things that can usually calm you down, like talking to a specific person, writing, or going for a walk.

When very intense emotions such as anger occur, extreme sports can be highly recommended. This allows you to get rid of all of that anger and stress that you have accumulated within yourself.

Images courtesy of Christian Schloe