Is that friendship or something else
Let's stay friends - 5 tips how love can become friendship
It's one of the stupidest and most clichéd sentences ever: “Let's stay friends”. Maybe it's meant nicely, but is that even possible? Can you “only” be friends with the ex? We say: Yes, it can be something! When and why it works for some and not for others and with which 5 tips you can actually turn love into friendship, you will find out from us today.
Over and over - does that have to be?
Typically, the “let's make friends” phrase is pronounced by the person who initiated the end of the relationship. Standing embarrassed in the stairwell, a bag full of the last things you had, it slips from your lips and hits the other exactly where the wound bleeds the most: right into the heart, straight into the injured soul.
The end of love should no longer sound so painful, but sweet, for hope, a little heartache and then everything will be fine again. You can be friends and have an ice cream together again. Enthusiasm on the other hand is required. Mostly it stays away. Because friendship as a compromise between love and nothing is usually not a good deal.
Ex and hop into friendship?
Most of us will have already spoken or heard this sentence ourselves, and felt - in the latter case - like in a bad Hollywood film with Kathrin Heigl, dripping with greasy romance and artificial heartache. Perhaps in the former case too, depending on how hard you struggled to find the right words to halfway pick up the broken pieces. It's just a feat to end love without breaking everything. And which sentence would be better if you have lost love but don't want to lose the person too?
If friendship is offered after the relationship, it feels like a punch in the pit of the stomach at first, an additional rejection that hurts a lot. A “let's stay friends” is perceived as a degradation, as a cheap consolation, because love did not work. However, if both agree that they want to maintain a friendship, then that can actually be a great gift, as you gain a friend who already knows and understands you better than others. So it's worth a try.
5 tips on how to get friendship without love
1. Come down
If a relationship is freshly ended, the feelings usually go crazy for a while and the head drives extra laps on the carousel of thoughts. It is therefore important that you come down first and take time for yourself. If both really agree that the love relationship should become a friendship, then you can start the experiment. However, when one of the two secretly hopes for a new beginning for love, it usually goes wrong.
2. What do you really want
Make sure you think about whether and how you can deal with it with your ex just to be friends. A friendship also includes standing by the other's side in amorous confusions. But if you carry around emotional burdens with you, you will probably feel a tug in your heart even more often.
3. Take it easy
It takes time for an ex-love to become friendship. Maybe a lot of time. Don't rush into anything. After the end, distance is first of all the best medicine and you should not only claim it for yourself, but also treat others. Many need a clear line under the love relationship in order to be open to a rapprochement only then.
4. Be considerate
Those who suffer more from the separation should also take the space they need. Taking a break from contact is very healing after a usually very stressful separation time. The ex-partner should understand this and show consideration, however difficult it may be for him. The one who has been hurt or who is more emotionally involved sets the pace.
5. Forcing nothing
Staying friends doesn't always work. Sometimes the injuries are too great to be able to meet at this level. If it doesn't work, then it won't. Then the only thing that helps is letting go and accepting that not every love becomes friendship. However, if you have made it, then you can be happy to have someone special as a friend.
By the way, here at Jobmensa we are not only experts in matters of love, but especially in offering you the best and most lucrative student jobs. And it's very easy and free in our job exchange!
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Images: Peter Bernik / shutterstock.com
My name is Joanna, I used to work for Studitemps and wrote articles for Jobmensa magazine. I studied German and Romance languages and experienced a lot as a student: changing subjects, living in a boys' flat, living alone or in a student dormitory, what felt like 5,000 pages of seminar paper, time abroad, met a lot of great people and above all : lots of fun while studying! Back then as the editor-in-chief of the Jobmensa magazine, it was my concern not only to offer you the latest topics related to studying, but also to entertain you and share one or the other experience with you.
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