Are some introverts popular on social media

Networking for Introverts: Here's How You Can Do It

Networking is such a thing for introverts. Small talk, maintaining regular contacts - these are not exactly the things we love. Every now and then, okay - but it always costs energy. We intros usually only have a few close friends, a clear circle of acquaintances and are not constantly dependent on contacts and interpersonal exchanges. We get on well with ourselves, even on our own - and carefully choose the social events we want to attend.

You could say, Introverts are "socially cautious".

But we should face the facts: good social contacts are important, even for introverts. They are important for our well-being, our satisfaction and our health, this has been proven in numerous studies. Networks are what the name suggests: networks that catch us when we have a problem, need help, do business, clarify questions and want to get ahead. External impulses are also important, perhaps even for intros, so that we don't get too lost in our own thoughts.

What role do other people play in your most beautiful memories? Who supported you when you started something new? Who was there for you when you were in crisis? You realize how important a social network is to you.

If our private network is very small, it can quickly happen that we do not find the help we need. If we only have a small group of friends, maybe just a real boyfriend or girlfriend: What happens if this one friend is no longer within our reach at some point, e. B. when moving or changing jobs? The gap that then arises is huge.

You are suddenly alone, feel lonely, reflect a lot about your situation, don't know what to do, and it makes you feel even worse. Not a good base from which to go out into the world and make new friends.

That is why networking is especially important for introverts in private life! Yes, you have to do something for that. Raising yourself, trying something new, joining new groups. It is often said to leave your comfort zone. I would rather say expand your comfort zone bit by bit.

How to do that, I'll show you six steps. Don't worry, they are really easy and simple. If you take the first step to heart, the worst is already over!

First Steps: Successful Networking for Introverts

1. The right mindset

In order for your networking to be successful and for you to feel comfortable making new contacts, a positive inner attitude is important. Not only is it important, it's a prerequisite. Your thoughts are what you radiate. If you think: “I should show myself at the event, but actually I don't want to talk to anyone and prefer to stay at home”, then it won't work.

Here are a few suggestions from me for the right mindset:

“I am ready to meet new people. I am open to new experiences. I try it out and can withdraw at any time if I feel like it. I don't expect too much, but allow everything new to come my way. When experiences don't suit me, I move on. I'm looking forward to interesting encounters. "

Find your own words for positive affirmations. In order for them to work, you have to repeat them daily until you have internalized them and they have become a matter of course for you.

2. Networking in social media

Social networks like Facebook & Co. are both a blessing and a curse for me. When it comes to networking, they're a blessing for introverts. It has never been easier to find people and groups who think and feel just like you. The digital exchange with like-minded people is sometimes a real balm for the soul, if you otherwise find it too seldom in life. You can decide for yourself how much you want to reveal about yourself on the platforms and withdraw from them at any time.

Gradually, you can use social media to make contact with people with whom you would like to exchange ideas more intensively (and that in writing and from home, yippee! 😉).

Even if the contacts only take place digitally - it is easy to exchange ideas here, to get answers to questions and to get involved in foreign groups. Let's see it as a "practice platform" for the next steps! And it is not uncommon for people to make contacts in social media, which then develop into real contacts. Which brings us to step 3:

3. Try something new!

Networking doesn't work without getting to know new people. Now is the time to expand your world, expand your comfort zone! Look for opportunities, occasions, groups, etc., where you can come into contact with (still) strangers. This can be anything:

  • Sports courses
  • Events or groups in the cultural association
  • A course at the adult education center
  • Local clubs
  • Further education or advanced training seminars
  • Industry event
  • Voluntary work in a social institution, nature conservation group ...
  • Etc.

You should choose something that interests you in terms of the topic offered. If you are really interested in the event / course / activity and are curious, it will not be difficult for you to tackle your new project. Step 4 then follows effortlessly and automatically!

4. Get in touch with others

This is the step that we introverts find so difficult. Small talk? Not our thing. If you've been told many times that you should be too quiet and get more out of yourself, over time an embarrassing thought has set in: the feeling of not being accepted by others for who you are. This feeling whispers to you: "Better not get in touch, you will not be accepted by the others."

So it's no wonder if you can do without one or the other social contact as an intro. But the good news is: If you are aware of these processes in your head, you can recognize them and decide anew whether you believe these thoughts or not. The more you do this, the easier it will be.

But since you have already successfully mastered steps one to three, step four will no longer be a huge hurdle for you. You will manage to overcome your reluctance.

Observe the people in your new group in peace and choose someone you like. Ideally you have already discovered similarities with her! Your goal is to establish a first, very loose connection.

Now it's getting serious: take a deep breath (don't forget to breathe out!) And speak to your target person in a friendly manner! For example, depending on the situation, you could

  • ask for support or assistance,
  • ask if he or she can explain something to you,
  • ask how long he or she has been at it
  • ask what experiences he or she has had,
  • ask for mutual acquaintances / colleagues etc.,
  • etc.

Done! Congratulations, you made a new contact. (Any extro who laughs now has no idea how little practice introverts sometimes have!) I bet the person addressed was pleased that you were interested in them, right?

In your everyday life, look out for people in whom you discover similarities with yourself. You will find that there is more of it than you believe and perceive before. Make yourself aware that they think similarly to you and are possibly just as “socially cautious”! This also helps to become even more courageous.

In the next step you develop this first contact. It's easier than you think!

5. Deepen your new contact

You can deepen the loose, newly made contact by showing that you think and feel similarly to the other person. You are an intro, which means that you can probably empathize with other people. Show that at this point!

For example, you can make a friendly comment about your contact person (but don't get too personal, you don't know each other well enough for that). For example: "I think the same about what you said earlier." Or you say something like, for example: "Can you remember that as badly as I do?", "I would like to be able to do it as well as you" , “What do you particularly like about this job?” Etc. Depending on the situation, you can think of something suitable.

What if you can't think of anything? Then use the mirror technique: You ask: "So you mean that ...?" Or "Did I understand correctly that ...?". In doing so, you repeat - not word for word, but analogously - what the other said. By the way, you can easily keep any conversation going.

As a reserved and sensitive person, you bring an attentive nature with you. You can now use this strength wonderfully:By asking good questions and then listening carefully. In this way, you make your counterpart feel interesting and important, and automatically have their sympathy on your side. And that without having to talk a lot or reveal yourself!

The conversation remains non-binding for both parties. Anyone can end it at any time. But you'll be amazed how easy it is to turn small comments into interesting, in-depth conversations. And already a first mutual trust is building: The basis for your relationship and a new contact in your network.

But maybe you also notice that the new contact is not your thing after all and you don't want to deepen it. Then you just pull back with a friendly remark that ends the conversation. The person you are talking to will not blame you for that (maybe he is the same and he is very happy that you do not want to continue the conversation).

It is a good idea to take on a small assignment in your new group. You create a benefit for your group, become a contact person for your special task and thus automatically collect further contacts with the group members. In addition, it is good for you to help other people: The reward center in our brain reacts in the same way as when you get something yourself and rewards you with the same good feeling.

Every little sense of success in contact strengthens you, your self-confidence and your courage. With each new encounter it becomes easier for you to establish a contact from it.

In the last step, you can train your new strength in networking even further:

6. Thank you in everyday life as often as you can

You can save your perfectionism for your tax return, your thesis or your heart project. In interpersonal relationships, however, it is a hindrance, because none of us is perfect - not even your new conversation partner.

Small imperfections are part of working together. So be a little generous if you find a personal comment from your counterpart not so appropriate (as long as it is really just small things that were usually not meant in the way they arrived at you anyway). We tend to overstate comments. So: stay relaxed and stop pondering about it!

Saying thank you every day is a wonderful exercise, exchanging friendly words with our fellow human beings, and at the same time aligning our own thinking positively (you can't feel bad and say thank you for something at the same time - that doesn't work).

Thank the saleswoman in the supermarket, the postman, colleagues, someone who holds the door for you - every day and as often as possible. It shouldn't be a quick “thank you”, but a real, honest thank you with eye contact and a smile on your face. Try out the difference and be amazed by the reactions to it!

Over time, your reluctance to contact strangers will become less common and it will become easier and easier for you to make new contacts.

You can learn to network - especially as an introvert

The six steps outlined are very effective, easy to implement, and shouldn't be difficult for you. Most important is step 1 - with the right attitude, the rest will take care of itself.

"But it always costs me so much energy to approach other people ..." - The argument doesn't count! NOT to network will cost you as much energy, if not more. Just think of the energy you need when you have to look for help with a problem, do work alone without the support of colleagues, have worries and no friend is available to talk to ... With a good network of family and friends , Friends and colleagues, many doors open in all areas of life.

Everything you train will become lighter and less energy consuming over time. This also applies to networking. Being an introvert doesn't mean you can't learn this. It just means that YOU decide when, where and how often to do it!

As an intro, you've always been a good networker - make yourself aware of this by re-reading the strengths of introverts. You can concentrate well on one person and listen well - the best prerequisites for gaining people's trust. That's why I emphasize it again and again in my articles:

It is so important that we intros know our strengths and learn to use them.

Be patient with yourself and don't expect miracles. But patience is also one of your intro strengths - so what are you waiting for? Have fun networking!

Tell me if the six steps to networking helped you and what your experiences are. Do you have any other tips? Please write me a comment!

All the best

Lena

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