Insecurity drives an ego

Big ego? This is how you take the air out of the pump

Working with colleagues in the office can be a pleasure, but unfortunately it can also be an exhausting ordeal. Unfortunately, a common reason: that too big ego of a colleague who has had nothing to do with strong self-confidence for a long time. He plays himself in the foreground whenever the opportunity arises, sees himself as superior in any competition, and with his alpha male - or even her alpha female - behavior stirs the spirits. But what is the best way to deal with such an inflated ego? We show the reasons behind a big ego and how you do take the air out of the pump ...

➠ Content: This is what awaits you

➠ Content: This is what awaits you

How does a big ego show up?

To put it kindly, a large ego could still be described as a great sense of self-worth. In fact, many people with ego problems have one healthy level long exceeded. You live in a delusion that you can solve the Niagara Falls and calculate Formula 1. In short: such a genius simply has to be adored by everyone.

Anyone who has a large ego is full of self-praise, can talk about himself for hours without a period and always finds a way to put himself in the right light.

Less friendly, but with more honesty, a big ego can be better described: Drastic overconfidence coupled with a no less exaggerated desire for attention. Instead, people like to exaggerate shamelessly, and present their own achievements as earth-shattering events that everyone should have heard of.

Particularly, of course, they try to do that own ego in front of the boss to polish up a bit. From this side, the egomaniac hopes not only to attract attention, but also to gain further advantages when decision-makers finally recognize the indescribable value that lies dormant in them.

In most cases, a large ego simply cannot be overlooked - if only because the egomaniac will ensure that you confront it over and over again. If the ego is still in the growth phase and has a smaller size, you can already have it on some signs detect:

  • Constant showing off

    A big ego always comes along with a lot of hot air. If a colleague only ever speaks highly of himself, does not miss a chance to show off or brag a little and attaches great importance to the fact that everyone understands how great he is, the ego has already assumed enormous proportions.

  • Increased competitive thinking

    There is simply no room for others next to a large ego. Egomaniacs therefore make a competition out of everything, they always have to be better than others, present themselves and at the same time make others small. A together or together is not possible, instead it always goes against each other.

  • Endless addiction to attention

    Big egos want to be caressed and so egomaniacs always and everywhere look for confirmation. The main thing is that they are the focus and can bask in the attention. If someone disputes this with you, the envy is often great.

  • Defensive attitude

    There can't be enough admiration, but alas, there is a little criticism mixed in. A large ego cannot handle negative comments at all and immediately begins to defend itself - and the established world of illusion of overestimation of oneself.

  • Short term relationships

    In the long run, the ego cannot feed on the same people over and over again. It takes new admirers and fans, while the attention of previous companions is simply no longer good enough. The bigger the ego, the short-term the relationships with other people.

Too big an ego can become a problem

Confidence is generally good and often the advice is You should work on your confidence not just well-intentioned, but right and an important step. It looks different with such a large ego that it is the environment hardly enough air to breathe leaves. That is more than too much of a good thing and instead of scoring points with a self-confident demeanor, your colleagues and even your friends are just pissed off.

Your inflated ego grows so large that others become increasingly isolated from you. At some point you will consider yourself the best in all areas - but you will also be pretty alone because your social environment has turned away. Nobody wants to keep listening to a colleague like this Singing praises to himself and pushes itself into the center. It's exhausting and annoying.

Add to this another problem: a big ego makes you feel Do not develop any further yourself. Instead, you're busy flaming yourself and being overly proud of your accomplishments - and telling others how good you are. Quite apart from the fact that you may not have been as good as you assumed to be from the start, you will lapse into a standstill in which you believe that you cannot be caught.

Because of your large ego, you have the feeling that you no longer need to make an effort. A mistake that most egomaniacs only recognize when they appear to be unforeseen fall behind and can only watch as they are left behind by their colleagues.

Last but not least, in the long run, having a big ego can even lead to some kind of addiction. If you always put your big ego in the foreground and enjoy the attention generated in this way, you make yourself depending on the encouragement and recognition another. If this and the associated spotlight is absent, the ego suddenly begins to shrink and is eaten away by self-doubt.

Big ego: why the intrusive behavior?

A large ego appears to many to be arrogant, arrogant and unsympathetic. At work, however, we would like to see a harmonious team, with which both good results can be achieved, but in which the personal component is also right. A colleague develops into a Egomaniacs or if a new team member joins the team, whose ego hardly finds space in the open-plan office, the good atmosphere is quickly over.

The reason: A big ego polarizes. Some feel challenged by the display of power. These are usually the colleagues who also have a larger ego - if not quite as pronounced - or at least a strong self-confidence. The others feel intimidated by an egomaniac and prefer to try to gain distance.

But when it comes to actually taking the wind out of the sails of a large ego, you must first understand the reasons behind the behavior. Not every egomaniac acts for the same reasons, but this distinction is important in order to develop a strategy for the right handling. Three common causes for a too big ego are ...

  • ... an increased need for recognition. For some people, it's perfectly fine not to be the focus of attention all the time. With a heightened need for recognition, a large ego can serve as a means to an end to get yourself attention that might otherwise have been denied.
  • ... low self-esteem. A large ego exudes enormous self-confidence, but sometimes it is exactly the opposite. The brisk demeanor overcomes your own insecurity. The aim of this is usually to earn the recognition of the other colleagues, although in many cases it backfires.
  • ... a narcissistic disorder. If you are dealing with a strong form of narcissism, you have to deal with a particularly large ego. They are in love with themselves, only convinced of their own abilities and hardly allow any other opinion.

This is how you properly debunk a large ego

If the colleague with the big ego starts a hymn of praise for himself, the performance of the entire team only refers to himself or utters a derogatory tone as if he had eaten the wisdom with a spoon, you will Nervous costume quite strained. The desire quickly arises to give the loudmouth - please excuse the expression - his opinion and that oversized ego to shrink back to normal size.

It is certainly appropriate to stand up to a large ego in order to show certain limits. But is open confrontation really the only way? We believe No and have four more ways collected that can help you.

  1. Find the conversation

    The most direct and friendliest way to get a handle on a colleague with a large ego is to talk to them personally. This does not mean open screaming, but a nice and quiet conversation. Describe how the behavior negatively affects you and the work in the team. You should also offer your help if, for example, your colleague acts out of uncertainty and therefore acts up more often. Do not just base the conversation on allegations, but briefly describe the problem and then focus on the solution.

  2. Get ahead of him

    It's a simple, but very effective way: Don't even offer any way to stage the big ego. The egomaniac wants to report the latest results to the boss? Explain that you have already done this. He would like to give the presentation in front of the customer? Say that a colleague is already working on it. After a short time you not only take away the chance to show his inflated ego, but also the desire to try it at all at the same time.

  3. Call in the boss

    If other attempts have failed, getting your boss on board may be a solution. Describe how the egomaniac ruins the working atmosphere, claims foreign laurels and causes displeasure among colleagues. Even a large ego usually reacts very meekly to this headwind.

  4. Ignore the fuss

    Yes, this is difficult and requires a lot of patience and the ability to ignore things. But if you succeed, you can put even the largest ego in its place. As mentioned earlier, many egomaniacs are concerned with getting attention, being the center of attention, and making yourself feel better about yourself. If you manage to ignore all attempts to portray yourself, preferably together with the other colleagues, take the egomaniac's platform for his show.

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January 11, 2021Author: Nils Warkentin

Nils Warkentin studied business administration at the Justus Liebig University in Giessen. In the career bible, he is devoted to topics related to studies, career entry and everyday office life.

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