Which sentence can change your relationships

Sometimes I look in the Facebook-Messenger app after the first messages my partner and I sent each other back and forth. I almost get sentimental when I see how we wrote late into the night and nobody really wanted to put the cell phone down. I still remember how my heart beat faster when a message came in from him.

Today after five years of relationship, I catch myself at the checkout of the supermarket looking carefully at my cell phone and hope that the message tone that has just sounded does not indicate a message from my partner. Experience has shown that this would be: "Can you bring another milk with you?" And who wants to turn around now?

In this text you will learn more about the initial magic of a relationship and how it develops into the true qualities of a partnership.

What to expect in this article

The six phases of a stable relationship

In a relationship you go through different phases as a couple. These can be applied to most relationships, although they should not be understood as a template. Because in the end every relationship is individual. The phases are therefore of different lengths for each pair and also differ significantly in quality.

Most of the time, there are five phases in the relationship, but in the following this model will be expanded to include the introductory phase. Because this is becoming more and more important, especially in times of online dating. The six relationship phases include:

  1. The getting to know you phase
  2. The phase of being very in love
  3. The phase of mistakes and weaknesses
  4. The phase of power struggles and competitive struggles
  5. The phase of personal development
  6. The phase of mutual arrival

After five years of relationship, I would cautiously claim to have already lived through phases one through six. What these phases mean in detail, I will introduce you to the following. But before you start, please read my article about what changes after a year of relationship. I am speaking here the first two phases of the relationship in detail and reveal, among other things, whether the toilet door should remain open or to remain ...

What has changed after five years of relationship

Below I'll give you a few insights into what's happening has changed everything after five years of relationship with my partner:

Sweet habits turn into annoying tics

In my opinion, a serious relationship doesn't start for a year. Here the second phase of the great, rose-tinted love slowly comes to an end and you have to face reality as a couple. So you slowly enter phase three, provided that the waning of the initial love does not mean the end of the relationship.

In the third phase we recognize our: n partner: in as people with all of his / her strengths and weaknesses. It can happen that the initial smart ass, who has fought his way into our hearts with his knowledge, suddenly only annoys us with his constant know-it-all in the stress of everyday life. Or he suddenly notices that you waste a lot of time watching series instead of doing the household chores. So much for the ticks in my relationship.

However, it is precisely this knowledge that is needed. Because only from here on is deep and true love possible. Anyone can be in love. But overlook such weaknesses and tics and another person to love sincerely anyway, or precisely because of it, is a different caliber. If you want to maintain a relationship from this phase onwards, you have to be willing to compromise and above all be tolerant. In particular, we have to lower our own expectations. Because here at the latest we have to realize: No one is perfect.

Who is more important & can assert themselves?

Ready to step back to give true love a chance? Then be prepared for phase four in relationships. After about two years, the first discussions and disputes will set in. Now you have to learn together to find a way out of the mini-crises. I have vivid memories of my first argument. Not that I still remember what it was about. But I still remember how I stubbornly left for the bedroom.

Hoping he'd run after me and apologize, of course. Thought wrong. It was only after five years of relationship that I had my partner ready to be his Swallow it proudly could. And now I also need less than 20 minutes to calm myself down in the bedroom. Today I can admit my mistake after a short time and come back tame.

In short: Couples need to learn to really argue with one another. They must too find their balance of powerwhat is individual for each relationship. For example, we don't have one person who is always behind. We take turns.

Not just us, but me too!

After about three years of relationship, you come to a point, at least that's how I felt, when you notice that you are has let some things slide. Be it friends, hobbies or career plans. Now it becomes clear whether the relationship can also withstand the fifth phase. Because a stable relationship is not just about love and hot sex.

Above all, it should be about to the partner (s): to offer a solid foundation for personal development. Because just crouching on top of each other and bathing in stagnation does not promise a happy future.

Instead To shape each other for the best, to give each other strength and to inspire, is the real art of a relationship. Who can do it, besides the relationship to work on your own personality and pursuing personal goals is in good hands. After five years of relationship, I can proudly claim that, despite the relationship, I am an independent person who does not need a partner, but who absolutely wants that one partner. Simply because he brings the best out of me.

By the way: Do you already know what's behind the Manhattan Effect and the Michelangelo phenomenon?

Where do we want to go - together?

In the last phase of the relationship, which can occur after three or five years of relationship, it's about arriving together. In this phase you know almost everything about the other person. You know each other inside out, have left basic discussions behind and can now look to the future together.

How do you notice this phase? For me it is the feeling of coming home, whenever I sit down with my partner on the couch in our shared apartment. The feeling, the partner / s: in would be like family, even without children. For me that means arriving. And the deep trust that the other will be with you in the future as well. Who made it this far knows what true love means.

After five years of relationship you are a small family

Five years of relationship is a long time for some. For others, they are just the beginning of something very big: the love of life. What is clear is that you go through a number of phases in the first five years of a relationship. That after five years of relationship the initial magic is long gone, does not bother anyone who has really arrived in their relationship and knows: this is him / her, the one, with whom I would like to spend the future. Rolling your eyes while fetching milk in the supermarket will not change that.

More relationship topics: Researchers know what really matters in a happy relationship, that's why you remember your childhood sweetheart so well and these are the best tips for a happy relationship.